“The sun went down like a sack of hot shiz…”
If you’re ever lucky enough to be going in holiday with me, I am not shy about letting you go ahead a day or two in advance, so that you can get all the sky-diving, bunjee-jumping and wind-surfing out of your system. I , categorically, will not be doing any of that.
I have enough angst and adrenaline in my day to day life, I do not need it in the time I’ve chosen to unwind, relax and kickback. What’s more, I’m old enough to know what I want, which is to stay in a lovely hotel and not stay with people in their homes. The latter will, inevitably, involve making one’s bed and pretending to want to help with the cooking and other mundanities. I just want to be pampered, watered and fed.
I also love a bit of the ol’ ‘walk-abaht‘ on holiday. Aaah… that incomparable feeling when you’re walking barefoot on the beach after you’ve eaten your own weight in breakfast buffet goodness and you’re also pleasantly but inoffensively day-drunk… life is good.
Don’t get me wrong, I also love a bit of culture. HOWEVER, if there is the promise of a beautiful beach, then learning, enriching my brain and feeding my cultural hunger fly out of the window and I will spend my entire time going to and from the beach. Which is what I did. For eight days. Straight. Don’t you judge me!
CAPSULE REVIEW (NOT SPONSORED!)
Iberostar Selection Fueteventura Palace 5star Hotel, Canary Islands.
End of January stay. Beachfront – it’s like, right there. Polite, helpful staff. Reasonably good food with outdoor seating. Limited spa but amazing massages. Caters mostly to German-speaking tourists. Remains an adults only hotel till May 2020.
